Not to be a dungeon of pessimism, but 2020 sucked. We never meant to cause you any sorrow, we never meant to cause you any pain. The Daddios put one more masked episode in the books for this shitty year. This is the funniest, most carefree episode we've done in a long time. All of your favorite DP topics are covered: snacks, strange addictions, Lance abusing his little brother, public pools, sandwiches, janitors, video games, and everything else your calloused little 2020 heart yearns for. 

Notable absence: orange man. It's time we all reach out for something new, that means you too. But hey, don't forget - poop comes with us into 2021. Things have been tough, but we've managed to keep our sanity by laughing at the absurd and insane things in this world. Thanks for giggling with us. We'll see ya next year. 

With a slight lifting of the psychological weight, the Daddios come back in a glorious return to form. This episode has all of the absurdity, philosophy, nostalgia, animal discussions, and bullshit that you've come to expect from your esteemed hosts. Of course, we're still masked in the dark basement. 

Speaking of psychological weight, being an educator must be very difficult. It's a damn shame that most educators are not paid accordingly. I mean, they're only responsible for a whole generation of minds. The Daddios call friend and longtime listener Alex to ask him about his experience as a middle school teacher. Alex took it upon himself to give us a talkin-to. That's right, we were disciplined on our own show. 

Clearly, the boys didn't grow up, they then discuss the future of nudity, and Collin reveals that he himself is DairyDaddy on OnlyFans. 

All this and more, but fair warning: this episode contains spoilers from the Frog and Toad books. 

It's good to be back. 

Once again, The Daddios took refuge from 2020 in Andy’s basement. They found little comfort, as they were instantly reminded of the house centipede infestation down there in the darkness. They had to talk about the current state of things - masks, the clown dictator, bugs, global pandemic, etc. Seems all bad right? Wrong! At the time of recording Lancey Boy was on the precipice of validating the title of the show -- That’s right, becoming a DAD! The first of The Daddios to become a real Daddio. Amazing. 

Also, after showing up with shrimp, Collin beats his microphone like Rocky beat his meat. After a few technical difficulties, the boys get back on track. Dr. Sant joins via phone from the tip of a mountain in Colorado! 

The world is pretty crazy right now, but still, there is beauty all around. We've found renewed appreciation for the small things amidst the ugliness of 2020. We hope you can too. Thanks for laughing with us. 

Some people are lucky enough to exit this world in a painless, non-memorable way. Some people decide to have a JO session in the closet while choking themselves. Will they get off or pay the ultimate price? Check the front page of the newspaper in Thailand to find out, it might spoil the ending of Kill Bill for you though. The thing is, it’s hard to overshadow death by auto-erotic asphyxiation, or whatever it’s called. Didn’t that happen in the movie “World’s Greatest Dad”? Idk, we can’t remember, the only thing that sticks out from that movie is Robin Williams’ bare balls in the pool. 

Anyway, we gathered in the basement, masked, amidst the collapsing society around us to discuss the usual: 90’s movies, the pitfalls of social media usage, death, Mortal Kombat, our “Dear Leader”, and of course— poo poo pee pee jokes. Dr. Sant makes a physical appearance, can you believe it?

After laughing about death, the Daddios ponder— are we evil? We asked the question just before the centipedes took over the basement and Lance’s death screams shattered the foundation of Andy’s house. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart. 

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don’t know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording. 

Thanks for laughin’ with us. It’s good to be here. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart. 

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don’t know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording. 

Thanks for laughin’ with us. It’s good to be here. 

Andy lays it all out there, bare and shining for the world to see. Lance gives a stranger the Mandible Claw, Dr. Sant chimes in from isolation, Peach draws a line in the sand with your blood, and Collin wears a tux tighter than an Elvis impersonator.  

WE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY

If you’ve never listened to Daddio Patio, don’t start now, this is very likely our last episode. We tuned up the band for this one and played all the hits. From public restroom humor, to philosophical questions, to observations about the modern world, to raw and unfiltered honesty, we did it all, all over again. Hey, is an above-ground pool really a pool, or is it a tub? Does it have to be in the ground to be a pool? We also did something we rarely do, we broke the 4th wall and talked about the podcast. We shared some of the memories / laughs we had making the show. 

-When we started this show in 2013, the world was a different place. This podcast was just a whim that we acted upon one night. We came up with the name Daddio Patio only seconds before we started recording. At that time, our recording device was just an iPhone sitting in the middle of the table. We never imagined it would have any listeners, let alone tens of thousands of downloads from around the world. We never anticipated doing 100 episodes. Many regular / long spanning podcasts are paid or sponsored, ours was primarily an excuse for us to enjoy each other’s company, and share some laughs. 

Over the years, it’s also become a time capsule, and a snapshot of our minds at the time. From profound to absurd, we’ve said a lot of things. Some were ideas that we still carry, some are not, some were meant to be taken seriously, and some were absolutely, definitely not. Our show was always in pursuit of hilarity and truth at the same time, often seamlessly jumping back and forth.  

While the world, and circumstance changed around us, one thing never did: our love for each other, and making this dumb podcast. None of the traveling, moving, stolen laptops, crashed hard drives, or life events could stop us from doing this dumb shit, and that’s pretty cool. 

We want to thank everyone who was involved with Daddio Patio in any way whatsoever. Whether you made our live shows possible, created artwork, appeared as a guest, called in, wrote reviews, subscribed, or just laughed with us, we truly appreciate you. We hope that Daddio Patio meant something to you. 

The future is unknown, and we are pulling into shore for now. Whether or not we ever make another Daddio Patio episode— it doesn’t matter. Daddio Patio is infinite, it’s forever, it’s in us and it’s in you. Also, it’s a stain on our permanent records, and it’s on the internet forever. 

Seriously though, thank you for laughing with us. 

DAAAAAAADDDDIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCKIN

PATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo