Kermit the Frog here

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After a few months we're back. Anyway what would you paint on your pirate ship? 

We closed out 2022 with Daddio Patio's Green Ranger Dan Goedeker. Sleepy hats, Sega Saturn, and Jared Fogle's fat jeans. What does it all mean?

Thanks a million for nothin'. 

We were out in New England with no recording equipment, so we did it the old fashioned way. In the cold New Hampshire rain, we talked about Dunkin Donuts and a few other sociopathic topics. Congrats to our buddy Cobra. We love you. Is this episode listenable? You decide. 

Is intelligence a winning evolutionary trait? Obviously not, because it took them so long to add a backlight to the Game Boy Color. This week, we're joined by friend and bug expert Chippy. He also brought a giant jungle cockroach and left the lid off of the cage the entire time. Chippy brought some much needed scientific knowledge to the show, anyway what if you could use your ass hair as a weapon in Goldeneye 64? From meatspin to decoding the human genome, this is an episode for the ages. Thanks for joining us Chippy!

A long drive with a lot to think about, joined this week by our buddy Phil. Enjoy.

Battle Bots & Botulism. 

We found this episode in King Tut's tomb and dusted it off for the internet. 

We really went off the deep end with this one. What's it like to be eaten by a shark? Why are the hammerhead's eyes so far apart? If you give an Amish person a GameBoy Color will they ever go back to churning butter? All this and more. 

This one ain't for the faint of heart. We're talkin' about boogers, wedgies, nipple twists, and all of the other cruel and unusual punshment that older brothers inflict on their younger brothers. This one was 9 years in the making, Lance's little brother finally joins us to defend himself after all of the stories Lance has told over the years. We also briefly mention the philosophical value of comedy, or something like that. Anyway remember when they threw Joe Pesci's whitie tightie wearing corpse in that hole?

Hey remember when we had those snow days? We recorded an episode from the comfort of our homes, but never released it. Now that it's snowing again it seems appropriate. We had dogs growlin and cats howlin but we were still able to talk about some of the classics. Orthodontic scams, Joe Pesci, PB&J's and apes. Catch a fuckin snowflake on your tongue. 

This Daddio Patio classic will have you pumped for the big game. 

- All credit where it's due.

Hey here's a fact that might melt your face off like Raiders of the Lost Arc - Fatbody joined us for this digital episode. That's right, although we couldn't be together in person, we used the power of the internet to connect and talk about extracting oil from George Lucas' neck. Join us, drink from the empty glass, smoke a bit of the future, kick back, put on a diaper, have some fun. It's just the apocalypse.

We jumped the shark years ago. Does it even matter what we talk about anymore? Anyway we kind of recap 2021. This episode is remote, right back where we started, from the comfort of our own homes, with the virus swirling around outside (and inside 40% of the hosts). Anyway, we hope you jump right on into 2022 with our dumb podcast in your airpods. See ya there. 

In another late night phone call, Peach and Andy discuss high scores, Rocky 5, Kiosks, shoes, and pens. We may have crossed the line this time, but did anyone ever stop to ask why that line is there? What's the line called? Anyway Rocky 5 sucked. 

Tony Soprano had his head transplanted onto a robot mantis body at the end of The Sopranos. We’re not sorry for spoiling that, it should be common knowledge by now. 

Hey, we’re back with 4/5 original cast members, but still 5 boys. Remember the school picnic? The same salt & pepper shaker ride ran for at least 50 years with 0 maintenance. Is unsupervised fun a thing of the past like those little glass carnival prize pictures? Also, isn’t it crazy how you can go into a thrift store and buy the last photo of someone for $2? Also, whats the latest on the head transplant?

All this and more. Makin' your way in the world today takes everything ya got - we're always glad ya came.

In the spirit of holiday generosity, here's a bonus installment of our late nite call series "Help the Bear". This time Peach & Andy talk about Nu Metal, Walnuts, Basketball Arcades, and gas station products. Nothin' special, just some buds having a BS session. You're welcome!

Hey MFers we're back. Do you remember that Daddio Patio was almost named jail? Well those criminals do, they were forced to listen to it. This time we talk about all kindsa ridiculousness. Mark Zuck or whatever wants to make the multiverse? A laughing sickness in Japan? VR mass shootings? Will Collin make it to his final destination? Oh also please buy our latest product from the late night TV ad. You won't want to miss this one, order now and get the double VHS set of Butlers Gone Feral.

It's finally here, the moment you've all been waiting for: THE SEQUEL TO THE CHICAGO WRASSLIN ROAD TRIP EPISODE. That's right, after all the isolation, Peach & Andy get back on the road to pick up where the left off.

On a late night phone call, Peach & Andy ask the important questions. What's the deal with unicycles? What do the different colors of Nike Air Monarchs mean? Why can't those pesky priests just stop molesting kids? How come gratuitous violence can be seen on regular tv, but female nipples are censored? Is it possible to be a successful adult in America without being a total hypocrite? They also recap some of the most memorable super bowl performances. All this and more on this late nite bonus episode. 

ALSO: Look out for the sequel to "DP99 - Live Your Gimmick" coming soon!

Not to be a dungeon of pessimism, but 2020 sucked. We never meant to cause you any sorrow, we never meant to cause you any pain. The Daddios put one more masked episode in the books for this shitty year. This is the funniest, most carefree episode we've done in a long time. All of your favorite DP topics are covered: snacks, strange addictions, Lance abusing his little brother, public pools, sandwiches, janitors, video games, and everything else your calloused little 2020 heart yearns for. 

Notable absence: orange man. It's time we all reach out for something new, that means you too. But hey, don't forget - poop comes with us into 2021. Things have been tough, but we've managed to keep our sanity by laughing at the absurd and insane things in this world. Thanks for giggling with us. We'll see ya next year. 

With a slight lifting of the psychological weight, the Daddios come back in a glorious return to form. This episode has all of the absurdity, philosophy, nostalgia, animal discussions, and bullshit that you've come to expect from your esteemed hosts. Of course, we're still masked in the dark basement. 

Speaking of psychological weight, being an educator must be very difficult. It's a damn shame that most educators are not paid accordingly. I mean, they're only responsible for a whole generation of minds. The Daddios call friend and longtime listener Alex to ask him about his experience as a middle school teacher. Alex took it upon himself to give us a talkin-to. That's right, we were disciplined on our own show. 

Clearly, the boys didn't grow up, they then discuss the future of nudity, and Collin reveals that he himself is DairyDaddy on OnlyFans. 

All this and more, but fair warning: this episode contains spoilers from the Frog and Toad books. 

It's good to be back. 

Once again, The Daddios took refuge from 2020 in Andy’s basement. They found little comfort, as they were instantly reminded of the house centipede infestation down there in the darkness. They had to talk about the current state of things - masks, the clown dictator, bugs, global pandemic, etc. Seems all bad right? Wrong! At the time of recording Lancey Boy was on the precipice of validating the title of the show -- That’s right, becoming a DAD! The first of The Daddios to become a real Daddio. Amazing. 

Also, after showing up with shrimp, Collin beats his microphone like Rocky beat his meat. After a few technical difficulties, the boys get back on track. Dr. Sant joins via phone from the tip of a mountain in Colorado! 

The world is pretty crazy right now, but still, there is beauty all around. We've found renewed appreciation for the small things amidst the ugliness of 2020. We hope you can too. Thanks for laughing with us. 

Some people are lucky enough to exit this world in a painless, non-memorable way. Some people decide to have a JO session in the closet while choking themselves. Will they get off or pay the ultimate price? Check the front page of the newspaper in Thailand to find out, it might spoil the ending of Kill Bill for you though. The thing is, it’s hard to overshadow death by auto-erotic asphyxiation, or whatever it’s called. Didn’t that happen in the movie “World’s Greatest Dad”? Idk, we can’t remember, the only thing that sticks out from that movie is Robin Williams’ bare balls in the pool. 

Anyway, we gathered in the basement, masked, amidst the collapsing society around us to discuss the usual: 90’s movies, the pitfalls of social media usage, death, Mortal Kombat, our “Dear Leader”, and of course— poo poo pee pee jokes. Dr. Sant makes a physical appearance, can you believe it?

After laughing about death, the Daddios ponder— are we evil? We asked the question just before the centipedes took over the basement and Lance’s death screams shattered the foundation of Andy’s house. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart. 

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don’t know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording. 

Thanks for laughin’ with us. It’s good to be here. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart. 

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don’t know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording. 

Thanks for laughin’ with us. It’s good to be here. 

Andy lays it all out there, bare and shining for the world to see. Lance gives a stranger the Mandible Claw, Dr. Sant chimes in from isolation, Peach draws a line in the sand with your blood, and Collin wears a tux tighter than an Elvis impersonator.  

WE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY

This time on daddio patio we cut our lives in two pieces. This was our last resort. With our show’s hosts scattering in the wind, and life events all the time, we decided to take the show on the road. Whether or not you know us personally, this episode is a montage of a few recent life events. Big Peachy Sosa had a birthday, so the first episode covers Andy and Peach living their wrestling fan gimmick lifestyle, and driving to Chicago to see wrestling shows all weekend. Collin, Dr. Sant, and Lance all make phone appearances while they’re on the road. There are more than a few cracker barrel stops, and a return to form as andy and peach sell you their favorite products between segments. Be sure to check out part 2 of this episode, as it captures friendship under the stars, Lancey boy’s bachelor party, and his wedding. Thanks for listening to Daddio Patio, we love ya.